Fire up the iTunes!

I am not usually one to keep up with the Joneses. I am not usually excited at new gadgets or technology. But, I want an i-pod.

Yes, I know those are SOOO 2005, but I really want one. Joey said I do not like enough songs to justify an i-pod. We have Sirius..isn't that good enough? Hell No!

So, I am starting a list of my favorite songs. In no order other then how they entered my brain.

When I have 300, I'll buy an i-pod.

To qualify for this list, I must know ALL the words- know the artist off the top of my head, and think of someone from my past (or present) when I hear it.

Feel free to remind me of others!

Here's the first 50!

Wild World- Cat Stevens
You Got It All- The Jets
I’ll Never Get Over You (Getting’ Over me) – Expose
Pop That Coochie- 2LiveCrew
Big Poppa- Notorious B.I.G.
Captain Jack- Billy Joel
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road- Elton John
Mustang Sally- Wilson Picket
I Can’t Stand The Rain- Ann Peebles
One- Metallica
November Rain- GNFR
Heaven- Warrant
When I’m With You- Sheriff
Amanda- Boston
Scenes From An Italian Restaurant- Billy Joel
Save Me- Aimee Mann
Takin’ You Home- Don Henley
Lyin’ Eyes- The Eagles
Sunrise, Sunset- Fiddler On The Roof
Ain’t Nothin’ But A “G” Thing- Dr. Dre
You Suck- The Yeastie Girlz
I Still Do- The Cranberries
Sometimes Always- The Jesus and Mary Chain
Sir Psycho Sex- Red Hot Chili Peppers
Beth- KISS
What It Takes- Aerosmith
Every Breath You Take- The Police
Jump- Van Halen
Pride ( In The Name Of Love) U2
West End Girls- Pet Shop Boys
Centerfold- J. Geils Band
When The Children Cry- White Lion
Been Caught Stealing- Jane’s Addiction
Same Old Lang Syne- Dan Fogelberg
Put ‘Em On The Glass- 2LiveCrew
Funky Cold Medina- Tone Loc
D.E.F.- Dougie Fresh
Ice Ice Baby- Vanilla Ice
Always- Atlantic Starr
18 and Life- Skid Row
Unskinny Bop- Poison
Against All Odds- Phil Collins
Take On Me- A-Ha
Pour Some Sugar On Me- Def Leppard
And We Danced- The Hooters
Rainy Day Woman- Bob Dylan
Boys Don’t Cry- The Cure
Personal Jesus- Depeche Mode
Stand- R.E.M.
Could’ve Been- Tiffany

Diarrhea of the mouth

Sunday morning, 8:01 AM.

The God-fearing people in this area are putting on their fancy duds and heading out to church. Just last night, they were drunk and smoking wacky weed on my front porch. But, they were not afraid. They knew come Sunday morning they would head to church and the slate would be wiped clean.

I like being a Jew. No one expects ME to get up EVERY single Sunday morning and go redeem myself.

We Jews do it once a year. We fast for approximately 24 hours, do nothing but think about our sins and BAM! A clean slate. I can do 24 hours per calendar year; every Sunday just isn't gonna cut it.

So here on this beautiful Sunday morning as I get ready to head out for another day of fun, sun and sand with my family, I am going to go on a quick little rant.

I'll redeem myself for it on September 22nd.

Quick random thoughts of things that piss me off:

1. Spell check haters. What the HELL?? It's FREE. USE IT!
2. Grammar ignoring writers. I read about 50 blogs a day. If I see your, you're, their, there and they're used incorrectly one more time, I am going to flip like K-fed in divorce court.
3. Irregardless- It's not a word. Fucking A.
4. The overuse of quotes. "It" drives me crazy.
5. Spell check haters. Did I say that already?
6. Slow drivers. Get the hell out of my way.
7. The neighbor's husband, who has white spittle in the corners of his mouth.
8. The construction workers that are remodeling the house next door.
9. Opening the fridge to find Joey drank the last Diet Coke.
10. People that are too stupid to breathe in and out correctly, let alone get PAID to do a job that is obviously above THEIR heads. Some people were meant to be Doctors, some to work the fryer at Mickey D's. Before you accept a job, figure out which one you are. Chances are, you should be covered in fryer grease right now instead of collecting a paycheck from your current job.

WOW! I feel better. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm heading to the beach, hopefully to find I am the only one who found this new bathing suit on clearance.

Love,
Cici

Next week: Pythagoras' theory

Growing up, my brother and I knew that college was not an option for us.

It was mandatory.

There was to be no back-packing through Europe or following Phish on tour.

High school graduation day was just another last day of school. While our friends were charting their course for a year of fun and getting high, we were packing our bags.

My father was the first generation in his family to go to college. He paid for it himself, by flipping pancakes and scrambling eggs at a diner.

We heard it over and over again; education is THE most important thing in life. It was instilled in us that we should never assume we know enough, or feel content with our current knowledge on any subject. There is always something new to learn in the world, and we were going to be taught.

At first, I despised my father for this. I was 18, old enough to make my own choices. He listened to my diatribe for a good ten minutes and then asked which homeless shelter I was choosing. If I wasn't leaving for college in the fall, I was going to a homeless shelter.

I chose the former.

Now that I am edumacated and have a useless piece of paper on my wall, I can see he was right.
Education IS the most important thing.

I learned a lot in college, and I am not talking about historical facts or mathematical theorems.

In fact, I am quite certain that in the unlikely event my life depended on me completing an algebraic equation, I would die.

But, I did learn life skills, problem solving, test taking and how to make a nickel bag of pot last all night.

I now pass on to MY children the importance of a good education. Lauren is exceptionally bright and we know she will go far in life. The consensus is that she is 'gifted', which means she can out talk us. Anthony on the other hand is only two. If his current interest in learning is any indication of his future, he will most likely be a quality control inspector at an underwear factory.

I'm hoping he's number 17. That's my favorite number!

Anyway, I digress.

Last night, we decided to open the pool for the season. By open the pool, I mean get out the electric pump and inflate the 5x3 pool. It took all of eight minutes to inflate and fifteen minutes to fill.

Once filled, the kids jumped in and splashed away. After a few minutes, Lauren asked me to join them, which I did.

I lowered myself into the freezing cold pool and sat down. As soon as I did, water sloshed over the sides and Anthony was pulled into the undertow that my entrance caused.

Lauren looked at me and sympathetically asked "What happened?"

It was then I realized why I was thankful for being forced into completing higher education. I thought now was as good a time as ever there would be to explain the Principle of Archimedes to my daughter.

Though I spoke in euphemisms and tried to avoid using terms like meniscus and water displacement, I think she understood.

Mommy is a mass. Mommy's mass replaced the water, so it had to go somewhere.

When I was done explaining physics 101, she looked at me very confused and said "Ok, but you still didn't tell me what happened to your arm, where did you get that boo-boo?"

Sometimes a question really is JUST a question.

Love,
Cici
AllAboutCici@gmail.com

Well, slap my ass and call me Sally!

Since my head is obviously not big enough, I was in need of an ego boost.

I just got it!

A comment section poster, Shaun, said he found a link to my blog on NBC.COM. So I headed over there to find what all the hub-bub was about and HOLY CRAP! I am ON NBC.COM!

Seems my rant about The Black Donnellys yesterday found its way into the hands of a fellow fan and she posted about MY blog on THEIR message board.

Amazing how small the world really is. So now I have free advertising on NBC.com. Granted, it's a two post blurb on the bottom of a message board, but it's there! Thank you, HeatherHZ, whoever you are!

Now if my contact at Simon and Shuster would just call, I could buy a yacht or something fancy like that. I smell a six figure advance on a book in my future.

If you comment now, I promise a SIGNED copy of my first edition for free. I will never forget where I came from.

Who are you again??

So...Wednesday...hump day.

I did absolutely nothing productive today. I woke up late, made Lauren eat a Ziploc bag of Froot Loops on the way to school and left Anthony in the car, in his pajamas while I ran her inside. I hear mother of the year nominations are due next month- I am a guaranteed shoo-in.

I spent my day doing laundry, dishes, and cleaning a gelatinous substance of unknown origin off my kitchen floor.

By 4 O'clock, when Joey was due home in thirty minutes, I brushed my hair and put on pants. Hey! I have to look good for my man, I am, after all, his trophy wife.

Now it is creeping up on midnight, EST and I am sitting here feeling cheated. American Idol pissed me off. They must have taken a lesson from NBC on how to make me angry. I can just see the email now.

Dear Fox,
There is a raving, ranting lunatic out there. Her name is Cici. She is obsessed with television and can quote any movie from the 80's, VERBATIM. It's so much fun to annoy her, and we here at NBC are always thinking of new and exciting ways to do so.

We pulled her new favorite show off the air and the sparks flew! Boy! It was the highest of comedy. We have an idea for you: On American Idol this week, why not make her sit through TWO hours of telethon-like television so she can see Teri Hatcher (who looks suspiciously like Michael Jackson) shake her booty to 'Stayin Alive; then, at the very last minute, inform her that no one is being voted off tonight! She will go crazy! She will yell at the television, and blame her poor, innocent husband Joey.

We are planning on canceling ALL the Law & Order series' next, except for Criminal Intent, cause she really hates that one!

Have fun and enjoy torturing this crazy woman.
Sincerely,
The Ass Scratchers at NBC

I am going to sleep, I have an exciting day tomorrow. I MAY actually put on pants before lunch and brave WalMart.

Love,
Cici
Allaboutcici@gmail.com

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is this??

I am pissed off!

Seething, seeing red, ready to kill, MAD.

NBC has crossed the line one too many times. It is time for them to read the memo- It is about ME and what I want to watch.

Cancel Friends? Ok, fair enough, it was time to go. Make Carter move to the Congo? Ok, he lost his boyish charm as he aged anyway. Cancel Joey? It had Matt LeBlanc AND Drea DeMateo- but ok, everyone makes mistakes.

But remove my new favorite show without warning? Are you out of your ever loving minds???

It is no secret to those that have been reading my blogs that I LOVE The Sopranos. It is my favorite show, hands down.

There are only six episodes left of the whole series and this was very saddening news for me. I spent three days crying myself to sleep when it was announced that Tony and the gang were about to eat their final plate of veal parmigiana.

But like all lovers cast aside, I found comfort in the arms of another.

The Black Donnellys (TBD) was waiting for me. Slowly, my tears were wiped away and I held hope for the future.

I spent six glorious weeks enjoying the thrill of a new love. I had butterflies in my stomach and giggled all the details to my friends. I was able to let down my walls and love again.

My therapist said that I would love again, I didn't believe her at the time, but she was right.

Then BAM! Without warning, the ass-scratching execs at NBC decided to pull TBD off the air without even so much as a goodbye.

No note. No flowers. Not even a 'let's just be friend's' talk.

I went to sleep and it was there, I woke up and it was gone.

After the shock wore off, I was able to see through my tear filled eyes and headed over to NBC.com. It would seem that NBC is offering fans of the show a chance to see the final few episodes that were already filmed with the caveat that we must watch them online.

Although there has been no 'official' word from the ass-scratchers on the fate of the show, I am pretty sure that the beat around the bush attitude they have when answering questions is a pre-cursor to the let's be friends talk.

It's kind of like a guy that breaks up with you, but still sleeps with you for a few weeks, to make sure he REALLY wants to break up with you.

Whatever!

The Black Donnellys is, in my opinion (MY opinion is the only one that counts) the BEST show NBC has purchased since ER.

TBD is about Tommy Donnelly and his three brothers living in Queens, NY. They grew up surrounded by the Irish Mafia and now are all involved in one way or the other. When Boss Huey was murdered,(by Tommy himself) the neighborhood looked to Tommy to take over the role. But, Huey's brother Derek (Dokey) wants the reigns for himself. Tommy is ok with that because he would rather be an artist and sleep with Jenny- his childhood crush. The brother's fight, commit crimes and live like modern day thugs, all while their mother turns a blind eye and looks at them through rose-colored glasses.

Take crime, drama, comedy, romance and horror. Put it all in the blender, and you have TBD.

I for one am writing a very strongly worded letter to NBC and letting them know that while I KNOW their target demographic is 18-34 females and reality shows are the wave of the future; this 18-34 female is pissed the hell off.

That is all.

DEE OH ARE KAY

Lauren started soccer in March.

She has played five games, had seven practices and has proved to me that she is going to be a mathlete.

Yes, that's mathelete with an 'M'.

Those who can, play.

Those who can't, still play anyway, because their daddy is the head coach.

Team 'Fire' is composed of eight four and five year olds with different skills. They all play 'Buffalo Ball,' which means they all run in a herd after the ball. No one stays in their position at all.

There is Carson, the boy wonder, who will most definitely have his picture on a box of Wheaties someday. We also have Tyler, who picks his nose and wedgies for the entire game. Then there is Lauren.

Lauren follows the herd, but will stop to pick weeds, kick dirt piles or run off into the woods.

A few games ago, I looked up and saw her holding hands with another girl, right in the middle of the game. They were giggling and whispering like, well, five year old's. My best guess is they were laughing at Tyler picking his butt.

I think Lauren, like her mom, is there for the snacks and socialization.

During her first game, she actually got the ball! I was so excited! There I was cheering for her to keep running, and did she ever.

She ran right past the boys, the girls, the parents, the goal and the playground.

She made it to the parking lot before she stopped.

We are going to invest in a stop sign to hold up at the net, like in Forest Gump.

I asked Lauren yesterday if she wanted me to sign her up for softball camp and she asked if they had snacks there.

I think I will sign her up for computer camp instead. Do they serve snacks at spelling bees?

After tucking our soccer star in bed last night, Joey commented on how dorky and nerdy she was going to be.

I soothed his fears by reminding him that dork's don't get pregnant on prom night.

Until we meet again,
Cici
AllAboutCici@gmail.com

Charlie's Angels- 2007

Realization- re·al·i·za·tion [ree-uh-luh-zey-shuhn]-noun.
An instance or result of realizing.

Yep. I had one today.

A big, fat, white, cellulite covered, dimpled one.

It took me close to 33 years, but I finally realized my ass.

It's April and I live in Florida, we decided to take the kids to the beach for a few hours.

I spent an hour this morning packing towels, juice boxes, buckets, shovels and enough sunscreen to protect an entire European country if they decided to go walking on the sun.

We arrived at the beach, found our perfect spot, and set up camp.

A quick glance around at my beach sharing neighbors told me I was not only one of the youngest people present, but also the lightweight of the group.

Believe you me, in any other instance or circumstance, I would NEVER be considered a lightweight. I pushed the scales past the big two bucks years ago!

But, surrounded by hairy, flabby bellies and titties touching knees, I felt like Bo Derek in TEN.

I enjoyed the first couple of hours playing with my kids in the water and teaching my daughter how to make a perfect sandcastle. It was shaping up to be a perfect day with my perfect family at the perfect beach.

Anthony's stomach alarm went off and it was time to eat, so we got out the cooler of PB&J's and set out to eat.

Just as I was about to take a bite of my sandwich, a rather large woman who was tanned to look like a piece of leather walked by.

Lauren, my ever observant child, yelled out "Hey Mommy! That lady is wearing the same bathing suit as you!"

Every person within earshot turned to look at the impromptu doubles fashion show that broke out.

I was mortified enough as it was, but the woman, obviously sensing a kindred spirit in me, yelled out "WalMart! Right?!?!" She followed it up with an enthusiastic thumbs-up!

I just nodded and reached for Lauren's shovel.

I started to dig myself a hole to crawl into.

Of course, considering the shovel is not much larger than a tablespoon and my ass is roughly the size of a picnic table, it was time to leave before I could finish the hole.

We got home an hour ago. My bathing suit is in the garbage and I am on a diet.

Until we meet again,
Cici
AllAboutCici@gmail.com

Where in the world is Cici?

YAY!!

You found me!

Welcome to my NEW blog.

Let me explain the "reasons personal to me."

My previous employer and I had a disagreement about the copyright and ownership of my words. He wanted to own every word I wrote and I thought I should own my words.

Why? Because I love to write and maybe someday, if a publisher comes knocking on my door, I will want to publish a book.

According to the contract I was under, my previous employer could publish his OWN book of MY words- and not have to give me credit or one thin dime. I also would be forbidden from publishing my OWN works in any outlet.

He knows I am a good writer, he knows I could have a future at this, and he was hedging his bets against me leaving.

Word around the campfire is, he even bought up several domains with my name in them.

Armed with the knowledge of these new developments, I politely asked for a release of my works BACK to me. He respectfully declined.

So, I am no longer employed. Which is Ok. I was never much for ass kissing and deadlines anyway.

Over here you will find the Cici you love (Or hate- but if you hate me, why are you reading this?)

Although I am no longer emplyed by the store, I will still shop there. I like it there. I believe in the vision management has set up. There are no hard feelings at all. We just had to agree to disagree.

Since I have no deadline and no paycheck, I will blog when I feel like it. I will also say what's on my mind- without fear of censorship.

Heck, I may even throw in off color words like vagina every now and then!

Bascially, as you know, it's ALL about ME.

And you. It's about you, too!

I love you for following me here!
Love,
Cici