Charlie's Angels- 2007

Realization- re·al·i·za·tion [ree-uh-luh-zey-shuhn]-noun.
An instance or result of realizing.

Yep. I had one today.

A big, fat, white, cellulite covered, dimpled one.

It took me close to 33 years, but I finally realized my ass.

It's April and I live in Florida, we decided to take the kids to the beach for a few hours.

I spent an hour this morning packing towels, juice boxes, buckets, shovels and enough sunscreen to protect an entire European country if they decided to go walking on the sun.

We arrived at the beach, found our perfect spot, and set up camp.

A quick glance around at my beach sharing neighbors told me I was not only one of the youngest people present, but also the lightweight of the group.

Believe you me, in any other instance or circumstance, I would NEVER be considered a lightweight. I pushed the scales past the big two bucks years ago!

But, surrounded by hairy, flabby bellies and titties touching knees, I felt like Bo Derek in TEN.

I enjoyed the first couple of hours playing with my kids in the water and teaching my daughter how to make a perfect sandcastle. It was shaping up to be a perfect day with my perfect family at the perfect beach.

Anthony's stomach alarm went off and it was time to eat, so we got out the cooler of PB&J's and set out to eat.

Just as I was about to take a bite of my sandwich, a rather large woman who was tanned to look like a piece of leather walked by.

Lauren, my ever observant child, yelled out "Hey Mommy! That lady is wearing the same bathing suit as you!"

Every person within earshot turned to look at the impromptu doubles fashion show that broke out.

I was mortified enough as it was, but the woman, obviously sensing a kindred spirit in me, yelled out "WalMart! Right?!?!" She followed it up with an enthusiastic thumbs-up!

I just nodded and reached for Lauren's shovel.

I started to dig myself a hole to crawl into.

Of course, considering the shovel is not much larger than a tablespoon and my ass is roughly the size of a picnic table, it was time to leave before I could finish the hole.

We got home an hour ago. My bathing suit is in the garbage and I am on a diet.

Until we meet again,
Cici
AllAboutCici@gmail.com