Holy MOTHER OF GOD!!

WHY ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Did I ever mention my next door neighbor and the construction fiasco?

Around February, my exact next door neighbor decided to ADD a level to his house. What followed was the closest I have EVER come to actually committing murder.

Between the porta-potty on the lawn, the endless construction workers, the smoking of said construction workers, language, dust, smell, sounds and the fact that EVERY truck that comes thinks it OKAY to park in front of MY HOUSE, I was OVER IT.

But, it finally ended yesterday. I heard the backing up beep of the truck and looked out my window to see the glorious site of the portable shed of shit being taken away. I even saw the Foreman pull the permit box off the lawn yesterday!

FINALLY! 5 months and it's OVER! My street is back to normal. No more questionable gentleman lurking around. My children will not hear the F bomb, unless it's uttered by me.

THEN.

It happened.

I awoke this morning to the familar sound of trucks. Surely I must be dreaming. Or hallucinating.

One glance out my front window proved I was wrong on both accounts. I was very much awake and very much gazing at a truck parked IN FRONT of my house with the words "Apple's remodeling" on the side.

WHAT THE HELL??

It would appear that in an effort to keep up with the Joneses..err...Simon's; my ACROSS the street neighbor's have decided THEY need a new level AND a pool too!

OH. MY. GOD.

Folks, I may not make it through this one without adding a felony or two to my otherwise clean criminal record.

I have MONTHS to look forward to my morning routine of going to get my newspaper while having "Hey Sexy Chica!" Yelled at me by assorted day laborer's. Leaving my house and wondering if it will still BE HERE when I get home, will continue.

But best of all, I get to enjoy the EYE candy that is a blue shack of CRAP every single time I look outside.

Kill me now. Please.